The Beginning of Awakening & Essential Identity
And then comes a point when it’s time for another stage to arise with, a dream of form is no longer you’re. No longer consciousness, isn’t beginning of awakening from complete identification with form, and that is happening to many humans.
And this is why human beings are drawn to these two spiritual teachings with the awakening from the dream of form. Who am I? What does it mean?
I, what is identity? What does it mean when I say I, what does it feel like? What am I, what am I not, most people? Yet, if you ask them what is who are you they will define when the word I in terms of form, they will say. Well, obviously, this body – that’s I which comes maybe first and then there comes the mind with its accumulations.
It’s accumulated thought it’s thought, habitual thought, movements, its memories. They come the emotions that go with the thought movements, the psychological form of I, so they say well. I am this, this body, then there’s a name which, of course, is just a sound. You say, John, I am long and many people say they think that’s already a big part of who they are when they can say their name. Oh okay, and then they add a little something else.
I’M an architect: oh okay, we’re getting in closer to who you are, and I’m a father which okay good and at your age, okay, something no okay, we’re almost there now just need a few more details, and then we know who you are and So you can put it on a piece of paper, a summary of it or if you want to detailed account of who you are, you can write down your life history in a book, and it becomes your autobiography.
Oh, that’s interesting now we know who you are and if that’s not enough and if you think there may be hidden parts of me, then you can go to psychoanalysis for 10 years and then all these hidden memories and hidden desires and feelings that you had when You have four and a half years old towards your mother and your father and your grandmother and what they already do.
They all come up, and then you can add that and then okay now I’ve got it. I’ve got my autobiography and I got that’s I. I’m complete now, and then you look 50 years later, which is not much on a universal scale.
Fifty years, it’s very little. I know that now I thought when I was 20 50 years was a lot, I’m a lot older than 50. By the way, brother, the body, the 50 years pass and what’s left of the body and the psychological me that entity in the head with its history, what’s left nothing well, maybe there’s a one or two copies left of your autobiography, and maybe one person finds a Copy in a secondhand bookshop, it is somebody’s autobiography and your grandchildren or their descendants.
What, after fit my mother, my mother, passed away three years ago, and I realized a feud recently that I am virtually the only person now who remembers her because all her friends died before she did and her family and all the other people who knew her only knew tiny fragments which leaves edge all she was a little bit of an eccentric, and she was outspoken and so on.
There are little fragments, but the person really remember so more than a fragment is me and when I go, nobody remembers and then all is left is photos and in generation 8, and nobody will know who this person on the photo is.
But is it strange how an identity evaporates that seemed so solid and real and so forum? We are talking about form identity. That is when you and you’re asked. Who are you, or you ask yourself, Who am I okay now is, that is that all there is to who you are. Is that what can be defined so far?
What can be that, which is form thought forms, emotional forms? Physical forms, a conglomeration of that to get put together for a while, becomes. What do you think is? I am that really you are your identity or is this? Is there something else?
Well, perhaps we can just at this moment see as you sit here right at this moment. You don’t remember your past, you don’t have to. Let’s pretend you don’t have one, you have no past. There is no past. Let’s say there is no past which, by the way, is the truest.
Ultimately, there is no past, as only the now so, okay and no future. Let’s pretend there’s no future well, there is no future anyway, but there’s only this, so you can’t remind yourself you don’t even unless there’s a thought in your head. That says I am such and such, even that you don’t know right now. Let’s say you don’t know anything about who you are, nothing that you can formulate conceptualize call something you don’t what is left is there? What is lost?
Nothing is lost. In fact, when you encounter this, which cannot be named, which is a formless presence of aliveness, lets to’ve touched the earth that which is beyond form consciousness itself, and that is identity. That is where your sense of I come from, and so you are more truly yourself when you don’t remember your past, then when you do remember your past, and you’re mortal yourself when there’s not a single thought in your head, then when you are full of thinking.
About me and my problems and whenever you feel the sense of I this the light of consciousness, which you can know directly in the stillness that is always there available to you as the essence, your essence identity, your essence identity timeless. That’s always there, and that is one with universal consciousness. It’s just coming through this form.
It’s never lost when this form dissolves. The consciousness goes out like a little tentacle being so, let’s stay with this for a moment here you have no past or there is no past. No, what is lost, nothing essential is lost. You get a stronger sense of who you are in your essence, when you are not telling yourself in your mind who you are. This is why I sat in stillness speaks.
I believe you are never more truly yourself than when you are still and still means. Of course becomes still it’s an inner, doesn’t what there’s noise outside or not? Doesn’t matter you’re never more truly yourself than when you are still, then you can sense, the essence of who you are, and that does not depend on the age of the body, whether you’re twenty or ninety, it’s the same stillness.
That frees you, then, from the suffering that comes. If you have identified with form which then sooner or later will leave you, you suffer if you identify with a strong or beautiful body as that body eventually grows old.
You begin to suffer because you seem to dissolve you haven’t realized who you are, and so we have, you have form, identity and essence, identity and suffering arises through knowing yourself only as form identity. My history, my story, my body, my past, by this, my that, my that my my my it’s whatever you identify within the world of form, if you know yourself only as that, that’s the state of unconsciousness, the dreamlike state of consciousness.
Is dreaming the dream of form And then it acts attempting to become free of its inner state of incompleteness dissatisfaction and fear, which is inevitable when all you know is your form, identity. There’s always underneath the surface, or even very much on the surface. There is dissatisfaction, fear and ease this come for fear. I am not enough.
This is not enough. This is not the right place where I am now. This is not the right people I’m with. Is this not the right thing that I’m doing right now? There comes the need to go out and search for more forms that I can identify with so that I can feel more complete, but the only way you can actually reach the state of being at home in being rooted in yourself without the dissatisfaction.
It always comes again and again and again and without the fear the only way is encountering that which is beyond form too, and it’s. So, it’s so much, it’s right here. It’s closer! It’s! It’s God, realization!
It’s another! Word fight, but let’s not go there! The God within the timeless within and so the universe then has to take all the people who are into creating traditionally have been very unconscious because the those who have most identified with form had the strongest desire to manifest and create more things out there. In conquer, not an empire or accumulate, more and more possessions or have more power, so they got driven. So all the powerful people, the people, created human history.
If you read the history books, they were deeply identified with form, and they’re all unhappy, of course, very unhappy. Hoping by achieving this that or the other and conquering this letter, the other, the other tribe or whatever, to become free of their state of unhappiness and of incompleteness and never getting there and that’s been so traditionally the doers. They were always some people who were not into doing, but in term in many traditional societies they weren’t much of a place for them later.
Monasteries came into being, so they could become monks, long story, but so we still associate going out and doing with unconsciousness. I believe there’s a line by TS Eliot in a poem where he says the best lack all conviction and the worst are full of passionate intensity talking about contemporary humanity early 20th century, the best like all convicted means that they don’t know what to do.
They get because they are torn between there’s some inkling of inside them of their essence, so they, they’re not the desire to do to is not as overpowering as in those who are totally identified with their former identity. So, that’s an interesting that, with where we are at as humanity as a whole, is the realization that there is an essence.
That is nothing to do with a form and only if we are rooted. If some of our attention is in that formless essence, can we do things in this world without creating more havoc and suffering for others and ourselves? If we only go into doing without the rootedness in the eternal dimension, which is stillness, which is here now always now inseparable from now, if you – whatever you do, when you lose yourself in the doing, identify it again with form and creating some new problem, so the Foundation for all doing is conscious being so.
That’s the important realization about what about manifesting. That’s good, but before we talk about manifesting before we built some new building or structure get the foundation first, do you have the foundation don’t start building a house without any foundation? Let’s manifest this great business empire, this is going to change the world. Yes, but have you laid the foundation or foundation been being the formless, the eternal? No, we haven’t thought about that.
No, of course you haven’t, you can’t think about it. The foundation is being routed, realizing what that means. What is what being is not intellectually not by trying to understand because, as you may have noticed, there’s nothing much to understand about being you come being. Can you explain a bit more, please, being stillness? I don’t understand stillness.
Can you explain stillness? No, because there’s nothing. You need to explain. You can’t look at like it under microscope or dissected aspects of stillness, PhD.
Some Obstacles to Awakening
Among the many challenges to awakening are unfavorable emotions, identifying, internal thinking about, and the truth that we have no “Real I.”
There is no center for unfavorable feelings. The psychological center if working properly would consist of only pleasant feelings. Emotions like fear, suspicion, and so on actually belong to the psychological part of the Instinctive Center.
Unfavorable emotions are found out of emotions. We discover them from our parents, older brother or sisters, and other grownups that we mature around. Yet, we are always unfavorable. Negative emotions are the only feelings that we can experience at the 2nd level of awareness.
It is constantly your fault if you are unfavorable. It is never the fault of other individuals or circumstances. It is my fault if I get angry with him or her if someone informs me that I am dumb.
Possibly, I did do something dumb. I ought to be happy that someone informed me this. If I didn’t do something foolish, then the person is in error and I need to be sorry for him or her.
Of course, a trainee must not be allowed to interfere with the knowing process, but if you are awake, you can control misdeed without being negative. Negative feelings drain us of our energy.
Unfavorable emotions are infectious. If you touch with somebody who is revealing anger, your instant conditioned response is to strike back. Maurice Nicoll, a teacher in the Work, specifies that one unfavorable individual can infect an entire space.
When I was teaching, I discovered this constantly to be true. I keep in mind one lady in my 6th grade class who was extremely self-indulgent and disruptive. Since I was always on her to act, she really disliked me. And, in addition to giving her detention for breaking class guidelines, I responded to her negative remarks with put downs of my own.
She might turn the whole class against me when she truly was angry. I was constantly pleased when she was missing. Without her, the entire mood of the class altered.
My other half, Anne, remains in a negative state. I inform her I’m going to take the pet for a walk. She shouts back, “What did you say? You’re always mumbling. Why don’t you discover to speak out?”
” Yea, it’s not my mumbling. You require to get a listening device.” And we go back and forth. In a moment of silence, I realized that I was reacting automatically to her
negative state, and was able to shake off my own negative sensations. When we are conscious of ourselves, we are never negative.
Another important point is forecast. We constantly predict our shadow side into the other person. The shadow is that part of us that stays in darkness, that part that we do not own up to. The part of the other that we hate most is our own shadow Whenever we have a violent confrontation with another individual. When we observe the person who attracts our most unfavorable feelings, we can find our most hidden ‘I’s. What is it that turns you off the most in the other person? That’s what you need to try to find in yourself.
One of the primary causes of our unfavorable emotions is that we are always identified. We identify with every situation. To be identified is to lose yourself in the scenario. I am in the classroom going over ideas from the Work. Through stress and anxiety, the effort to get across my information, I forget myself. I end up being lost in what I am doing.
It’s like a cat playing with a mouse. I am no longer present as a separate individual. Are you determined at this moment? The concern may shake you out of your identification, but we fall back into identification practically immediately. A thought comes. You identify with it. And, you are off in a thought stream that may last for hours at a time.
The minute I entered the faculty room and said hello to my fellow teachers, I identified with the situation and was lost in identification for the rest of the day. When I began the drive home again, I would be aware of my being identified all day.
In internal considering, we consider ourselves instead of the other person. It’s the feeling that others owe us, or do not consider us enough. No one ever appreciates the work that we’re doing.
These ‘I’s being psychological forces that speak with our voice as if they were always in complete control. When you are at work you are controlled by work ‘I’s. Let the boss walk into the room and a different ‘I’ will pop up.
At home with your better half, you will be under the influence of a household ‘I.’ The kids will attract a still different ‘I.’ At the local bar with your best friend, once again another ‘I’ pops up. There are going shopping ‘I’s who like to shop. And you need to foot the bill that these ‘I’s runs up with no regard for payment.
Negative ‘I’s that are always in a bad mood, will immediately attract the same ‘I’s in individuals that you are associating with. There are ‘I’s who think of what you will purchase for your mother’s birthday. There are ‘I’s who will wonder what your mother will purchase you for your birthday, self-centered ‘I’s and generous ‘I’s. There are ‘I’s who will, in fact, go out and purchase a present.
There are ‘I’s from the thinking center that pop up when we are deep in thought. When you are taking a quiet walk in the woods, you are in ‘I’s from the emotional part of the moving. When you are trying to perfect a difficult move on your snowboard, you are in ‘I’s from the intellectual part of the moving.
Most ‘I’s being formed by imitation. From our earliest days, we imitate the people around us. We have mother ‘I’s, dad ‘I’s, big brother ‘I’s, friend ‘I’s. I remember in high school among the most popular students was Joe Keller. One day, I viewed him stand with his hands in his back pockets saying, “Take it as a joke. Take it as a joke.” The next day, I found myself standing with hands in my back pockets saying, “Take it as a joke. Take it as a joke.”
When I was in the Dean’s office at Millersville State Teacher’s College for an admission interview, I remember. The dean asked me concerns about my buddy, Vance, who was a second year trainee there. “You and Vance have a lot of comparable characteristics, your way of talking, and your gestures. Either you mimic him, or he mimics you,” he informed me. I recognized that it was me who imitated Vance. Needless to say, I wasn’t accepted at Millersville.
A lot of the ‘I’s that turn up to take charge were formed at an extremely young age and are no longer suitable. My Friend, Alex, pointed to a few of my improper ‘I’s in a discussion we had numerous years back. “You imitate, you are the same individual that you were when you remained in high school. You’ve gotten a deep inferiority complex that you’ve never gotten rid of. Then, you coped with foster parents. You were no good at sports. The in groups didn’t accept you.
I know, guy. I had it the same way. You’re a total zero in your own mind. “So, what occurs? You react to relationships with half-hearted thrusts. You do not want to get knocked down anymore. Instead of dealing with life, you withdraw inside your shell. Not to learn like you’re doing now, but for self-protection. You got configured out of a genuine relationship, and you’re still responding to the old hints. You’re not connecting to the world from where you’re at now.
You recognize your qualities. You know you’re above or equal to any man you fulfill. Why do you continue to be so meek? Why do you appear so disinterested, so unenthusiastic in your relationships?
Why are you so afraid to reveal any feeling?” It was these old high school ‘I’s that Alex described. As soon as you start to acknowledge old ‘I’s it becomes possible to not go with them. However, to acknowledge ‘I’s in one’s self, you need to develop Observing I.
Check it out. Are you filled with unfavorable emotions? Do you continuously identify and internally consider? Do you have one irreversible changeless I? Are you asleep?